DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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