i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
