Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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