you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
