tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
