Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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