I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
