I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
