i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
