i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
