it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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