Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
