So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
