I accidentally had phone sex last night
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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