Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.