Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw