In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.