So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie