You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
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he laminated a picture of his dick.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
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Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.