he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.