We got so high we made milksteak
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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