i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Damn victory sex feels great
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
