what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
