just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
