butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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