im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize