first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
