All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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