but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
