1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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