Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
