I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
