hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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