no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
