I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
