Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
one might say we're banned from that church
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize