My hand turned me down
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
