Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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