Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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