I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
