YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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