Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
