She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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