No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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