watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Swine flu is the new snow day.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
