Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
