But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
