Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
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i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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