Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize