she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
