I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
