now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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