That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
