Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
We need to get me chipped asap
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
