I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
