so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
