It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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