I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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