Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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