nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
