Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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