I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
