so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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