There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
