This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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