she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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