so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize